The Shrigma Epidemic and What You Should Do If Exposed
|INCOMING TRANSMISSION - PRIORITY ONE|
Greetings, denizens of Chainspace and the Pepelian Node Network
The Pepelian Public Health Office (PPHO) would like to make you aware of a disturbing new phenomenon we have observed spreading at an alarming rate.
- Rapid Weight loss
- Equally as rapid Muscle Gain
- Losing the ability to speak
- Gaining the ability to telepathically communicate
- “The Shrigma Gaze”
- Mycelium Based growth forming around the crown of the skull
- The undeniable urge to congregate with other “Shrigma”
While some of these symptoms may almost seem desirable, we are deeply disturbed by the methods by which this virus spreads. As far as we have been able to determine, it appears as if once this “shroom” growth appears on an individual, they begin to produce spores from the gills underneath the growth.
These spores appear to infiltrate even non-organic/cybernetic implants. Those exposed claimed that the “Shrigma Gaze” accelerates this process and may be a form of hypnosis.
DO NOT STARE AT AN INFECTED INDIVIDUAL
IF EXPOSED, LEAVE THE IMMEDIATE AREA AND LIMIT CONTACT TO OTHERS UNTIL PHS (Pepelian Health Services) ARRIVES
Together, we will make Chainspace a more safe, and healthy place. We appreciate your time.
Signed, Rychol H’yliek , PMD (Pepelian Medical Doctor) and Director of the PPHO
|END OF TRANSMISSION|
Flash Fiction by D_D
Don’t buy shit from Randy!
|Subject: ATTENTION TO ALL BLUE BASILISKS MEMBERS - IMPORTNAT MESSAGE!!! STAY AWAY FROM RANDY CHILLMEAT|
Randy. Fucking Randy. Don’t buy crap from that asshole. You hear me!? Stay away from that piece of shit. Fuck Randy! I’ll tell you what happens when you buy stuff from that swindling swine.
Here I was, freshly tanked and carrying enough SYN to last at least 6 trips, when one of my engines started to make loud noises. I didn’t pay much attention at first, with all the steel around, ships make noises all the time. But then I got a direct message on my HUD saying the tank had no gas left! Not even 30 seconds later my cockpit is glaring red, all alarms are going off and a thick smoke is all over my left engine.
Now, I was lucky enough to be near an asteroid field when this happened, won’t dare to think about what could have happened had I been far out in the Chain.
I survived the crash… somehow. But I broke my good arm and lost half the cargo in the process. Now, here’s the thing, turns out I didn’t exactly survive the landing; I was rescued. I know you won’t believe what i’m gonna tell you, and yeah, i also thought i was high as a kite on SYN vapors, but… I got rescued by bears. I know, I know “yippee ki yay another SYN-addled degenerate telling crazy tales from deep in the chain”. But I know what I saw! Right there, in the middle of this fucking asteroid there were bears. Not your run of the mill, angry, growling bears. No, these were intelligent beings, friendly even. They had a holographic implant on their heads, it made them look as if their brains were in a pickle jar. God knows I shat myself when one of them came close and said “good morning Fren” - I could swear I was gonna get goldilocked into bear chow.
I owe them my life. They were the ones who heard me crash next to one of their research facilities and went to inspect the rekt site. They dragged me out of the cockpit, half dead and delirious. Luckily, they had a vet on call who put me under constant watch and pumped me full of drugs – apparently, I had been out for hours and inhaled way too much SYN, so much that they thought I was going to puke my organs out. It took several days of emergency care and constant supervision until I got better.
While I was recovering, some of the bears inspected my ship and ran some tests. What I was burning as fuel was not SYN but a poorly made, bootlegged substitute that looks and smells just the same…except it doesn’t burn at the same rate! I went through my whole tank and all my reserves 10 times as fast as I should have been. The engine didn’t fail; it went into an emergency halt after burning through everything it had available faster than it was designed for; the fumes of whatever shit Randy sold me built up so quickly that they started to combust inside the engine at a higher rate than it could take.
It’s a miracle I’m alive. I almost lose another arm right there and I wouldn’t have made it without their help. So fuck you, if you think I made this up. The bears took care of me when not even i would have done that, and they found out what happened to my ship in record time. Hell, they even figured out some fuckin prick had sold me counterfeit fuel. Not even I knew that!
As for Randy, If i ever see that motherfucking lowlife again i swear i will feed him to a Blockworm. Fuck Randy!
|Block 13258281 - Transmission Sent.|
Flash Fiction by 0xStax